I am lonely and I am fabulous vol.II: Bui Vien and the delusion of happiness

Image result for bui vien

Bui Vien, Saigon

“How you doing tonight sir? Would you like some Cocaine?”
“I think I am good, thanks”

He was just trying to be polite while walking around Bui Vien. He always believed there is not much of a choice in what you end up doing in life. Meanwhile he was witnessing random people excitedly engaging in the drug tourism exhibition that was ongoing.

Suddenly felt his Phone vibrating in his pocket (Always silent phone kind of a person he is) with no excitement reached out, it’s blinking blue must be an Instagram alert, turned the screen on: “The most random person that you are following is online now” he did think so, that guy always looked like an attention whore. Puts phone back to the pocket. Tried to remember the tips he had recently picked up from the least interesting book he had just finished “The power of now“, out of desperation and lack of wisdom to come up with meaning in life, decided to try Eckhart Tolle‘s methodes, forget that ‘time’ was a thing. Zero notification days usually end up uneventful and random like that.
“If it’s a guy with the girl who is checking you out, they want a threesome and not the pleasant kind, be-careful.” – Said a good friend once, with much sigh embedded in his tune. He remembered that precious life advice right after cheersing a girl’s drink who was seating with five other seemingly flamboyant boys. Not feeling like getting laid specially with the possibility of having another erected gentile present in the action, took a sip from the drink and opened his phone seeking for comfort or action with less erectile organs in the picture.

The thing about loneliness is that, it has never been about the number of people you call friends or even the environment you are in. Seating in a random bar in a city you did not even know it existed (and you ain’t even American to blame the poor education system for) surrounded by friendly fun people you can have sex with doesn’t relief the pain of knowing deep down nothing does matter. Witnessing the smelly backpackers being so happy for no reason thinking they are underprivileged because the drug dealer doesn’t accept credit cards, while watching a middle aged white dude bringing on his A game to negotiate with a local prostitute at five in the morning in the local fast-food shop were the highlights of his night.

Picked out the last cigarette and left the empty pocket in the bar, not so sober now headed to the park next to the party area to smoke the last cigarette.




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